I was sitting at the bus stop today, listening to yet another girl-on-girl hate conversation. Heard sentences like “I didn’t think she was the sorority girl type” and “I couldn’t live with all girls, girls just cause so much drama” and “she doesn’t dress well enough to be in a sorority.” And I just sat there, getting increasingly tempted to interject my (probably unwanted) two cents.
Femininity is sometimes its biggest critic. And I understand that this is a media- and society-fueled concept, I understand that girls attacking other girls is something that we are taught to do, that we are not generally born with a knack for being hyper-critical to anyone or anything feminine. But we cannot expect things to change if we do not actively seek this change. Why must we critique the choices of women when we don’t know them or have insight into their mind? Why must it be our weapon of choice to criticize a female’s appearance?
When is it going to end?
Judge a woman based on her personality, judge her based on what you hear her say, on what her political views are, on her favorite books or her opinion of contemporary sculpture or the attitude with which she approaches life. Do not pretend to understand what “type” of woman she is, and make judgements on her based on your prejudice. Resist the urge to critique her appearance before anything else. Do not reduce her to a flat, simple image. Do not attempt to erase her complexity or her story. She is worth far more than that, and you owe her (and yourself) far more than that.