I shouldn’t have to scream “I LOVE MY BODY” every time I leave my house in order for other people to find it acceptable.
The respect that others give me and my body should not depend on the ever-changing status of my self-image. Loving myself isn’t always easy, and it sure as hell doesn’t help when people act like the only way for others to find me attractive is if I feel great about how I look 100% of the time.
hello, i just read the last few posts/reblogs about the guy who got his gf to work out and it led to my wondering: when is it is considered derailing and when is it actually hearing both sides of the story? because i have been in many situations where problems could have been avoided had both sides been heard from the beginning, which led to my belief that both sides should always be heard. that post just got me thinking is all. thank you for your time :]from wassupbrooo
I don’t think anyone should be given the benefit of a doubt if they are telling other people what to do with their bodies. Why? Here’s some statistics that make me less inclined to care about some dudebro’s feelings:
I understand that there is a tiny chance that I could have misunderstood that exchange, but I am perfectly happy risking that (unnamed, anonymous) guy’s hurt feelings to make people aware that behavior like that is unacceptable.
View Larger This is not a submission about me. It is about a girl named Synne who once posted to SHYB.
Today, July 22, 2012 marks one year since she lost her life. She was killed on the island of Utøya in Norway along with 54 other teenagers, one of 77 people massacred that day by one twisted man. She was 18 years old.
She kept another blog, where she wrote a beautiful post about struggling with her body image and self-acceptance. It is heart-breaking but has inspired so many here in Norway.
It is in Norwegian, and I won’t translate all of it, but it is worth taking the trouble to put through Google Translate. Here is a small piece of it that I hope will encourage some of you:
And this is probably the only advice I can give you: be aware. Pursue what makes you good, get rid of the rest.
… I forced myself to take a long look in the mirror… Ok, so my thighs are pretty big. And my stomach is not flat. I have some arm flab, and even a double chin. I have a big butt, I’m pale, I have scars. But is it so bad?
I have worked on making myself more aware that my body and the person I am are two completely separate things. I am not my stretch marks, I am not my stomach, I am not my body. And if anyone ever drops me because of how I look, they are the ones who lose from it. And they lose a lot.
I only live once, and I was born into this body. I will make the best out of it. I am grateful that I am here, and I will not waste my time on hating my appearance.
We miss you, dear Synne. Rest in peace.
View Larger Thanks to morphemes for submitting this terrible ad that I busted with joy.
Guys this is silly and embarrassing to admit, but do you know how much I freaked out about my pubic hair when I was 15?! I thought it wasn’t normal and I was some sort of freak for having it, this shit would have made it x10 worse.
What the actual fuck? Do 15 year olds really go get full body waxes? God damn it.
View Larger No, I don’t think there is a reason to force yourself into someone else’s personal affairs unless they have asked for your help (they literally ask you, or you are their doctor). Binge eating is a real disorder, but it’s not up to anybody but a doctor to diagnose that.
If someone looks overweight, it isn’t anybody else’s business to assume any of the things you’ve mentioned. There’s a very good chance that this person works out and eats healthy, that they’re just as healthy as someone of what we deem an “average” weight. And regardless of that health, there are plenty of people who like their body size and it’d be insulting to them to say that because they don’t fit a certain prescribed (and incorrect) vision of “health.” If someone you know is overweight and has asked you to encourage them to lose weight because they are facing health problems like the ones you mentioned, then by all means, help them be healthy in the way they choose. But making assumptions and offering help that isn’t wanted will probably only serve to make someone feel bad about their body. And a negative body image can lead to a lot more harm (eating disorders, self-harm/hatred, feeling incapable of success because of one’s body) than the possible positive side effects of losing a few pounds.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy or fit. In fact, it’s great!
There’s something wrong (everything wrong, really) with someone telling someone else what they should do with their body. Everybody knows that thinspo blogs are unhealthy, but I’m starting to really dislike fitspo blogs too because of this kind of shit. You don’t get to tell other people to lose weight. First of all, you can gather virtually nothing about a person’s general health by looking at them, and even if you could, someone else’s health is none of your goddamned business unless you’re their doctor.
Even if that overweight person that you’re telling to lose weight is unhealthy (and there’s no way to tell just by looking), IT’S NOT YOUR BUSINESS. I don’t care how unhealthy someone actually is, it isn’t your place to tell them or encourage them or hint for them to lose weight.
You aren’t a better person because you’re fit. You aren’t contributing positively to society any more than an unhealthy person who doesn’t by working out daily. There are more important things out there than obsessing about what you put into your body and guilting yourself into exercising.
So please, go ahead and be fit. Eat well. OR DON’T. I don’t honestly care either way, and neither should anybody else.
I weigh almost 300 lbs. Are you going to say my body is beautiful? I'd give anything to drop 100 lbs.from Anonymous
Yes. Yes I am. <3 <3 <3 The only reason anybody should try to lose (or gain) weight is if their weight is directly causing a health problem as shown through a serious conversation with their health provider. But even then, it doesn’t make them any less beautiful. You are beautiful, it’s society that’s ugly. We’ve been trained the think that fat = ugly, or unhealthy, or bad. But it’s not true. It’s just not. To hell with body ideals and a “I’m never good enough” mentality that is pushed on us by the media and beauty industry. You are beautiful.
I love Mason, and we definitely celebrated this somewhat-silly holiday via skype, but I need to take a moment and send a Valentine to myself.
I need to sit down and tell myself “I love you.” It’s hard. It really is.
This is the first year of my life since early, early childhood that I have been able to look at myself in a mirror and still love myself. Clothed, unclothed. Close up, far away. At my best and at my worst. Not that this has been recent, nor was it constant, but there were times a few years ago that I legitimately thought I was ugly and kind of hated how I looked. I wasn’t fat but I wasn’t thin enough. My face wasn’t horrible but it wasn’t pretty. People who loved me would tell me I was nice looking, but I usually attributed it to them caring about me. It was never something that made a severe impact on my life, but it was just the perspective from which I saw myself.
In the last year or two, I have fought so hard to start loving the body I’m in, from my hair to my lips to my thighs. And I think… I thiiiiink… I might have actually started to believe that I’m beautiful.
That’s not to say that the battle is won, or that I will never struggle with body image again. I know that to stay in this healthy place, I will need to keep working and keep rejecting the media’s representation of idealized beauty. But for now, I can step out of the shower in the morning with wet hair and no make up, look in the mirror and say “I love you.” I love myself not despite my imperfections or curves or my downward-pointing nose. I love myself because of those things, and for many more. Because more importantly, what I see in the mirror, while it may be beautiful, is not what defines me.
I love you.
I love you.
I. Love. You.
