alimarko

adayinthelifeofapineapple:

No. You don’t. You need to learn to stand up for yourself and to do what you should regardless of what anyone else, male or not, thinks. You do not need to whine to tumblr. You don’t even need to complain to the people doing and saying things that are hurtful or offensive to you.

When someone tells you “You can’t do that, it’s a guy thing!” - instead of fussing about how men never let you do what you want, do it anyway. And don’t just do it but aim to do it better than anyone else.

When someone tells you “You can’t do that, no guy would ever want you!” - instead of fussing about how people assume your goal is to get a man, ignore them. And one day you’ll quite certainly find a guy (or whatever else suits your fancy) who does want you. But you know what guys (or whatever else suits your fancy) truly don’t want? Whiny assholes.

When someone does something lewd, don’t complain to everyone with a functioning pair of ears. Call the police. Hell, kick them in the crotch if you honestly think it to be the wisest course of action for the circumstance.

I’m tired of everything I see on tumblr on the subject of feminism being a bunch of pointless complaints which benefit absolutely nobody. Feminism should not be “treat the ladies better” and it shouldn’t be something to file every discomfort under, either. It should be “treat everyone with an utmost and equal respect.” Feminism should not depend on sex. It should not depend on gender. It should not depend on sexuality, race, religion, appearance, nor any other fathomable human characteristic. 

Or how about you don’t get to dictate how oppressed people react to that oppression? That sounds like a good starting point.

(tw: rape)

Cyberfeminism has done wonderful things for the movement overall. A Republican makes a terribly sexist comment? We see the video the same day, and commentaries/petitions erupt overnight. We share our experiences with street harassment or sexual assault? We have a support community and a way to have a voice. We feel alienated by the people in our life for our strong convictions? We befriend like-minded individuals from all over the world. We cannot find ourselves capable or willing to continue to “ignore” the sexism we face on a daily basis, as you’ve advised? We make some noise, either in real life or on our blogs. (Or here’s a fucking revelation: many of us do both.) We notice that a seemingly simple, well-intentioned gesture (like men holding doors open for women simply for their gender) is actually rooted in centuries of sexism? We analyze that shit, we share our thoughts, we critique a society that values men and male voices above all others.

And you bet your ass it’s making a difference. Do you know how many asks I’ve received telling me that my blog is actually making a difference in someone’s life? That what I am doing is actually benefiting people, which you claim to be impossible through tumblr feminism? It’s not an avalanche of asks, but it’s a fair amount. And that makes it fucking worth it. I am allowed to have a voice, I am allowed to react to my life and the sexism that weaves through it daily in any way I choose. If it makes you uncomfortable to hear about what might be uncomfortable, ignorable truths in your eyes, you’ll have to deal with. I’ve got more important things to do to than to make you feel comfortable about the oppression that is happening all around you. Like dismantling the fucking patriarchy. 

(I’d also like to add that I’m an asshole, and sometimes I’m whiny. And my boyfriend loves me quite a bit, thank you very much. But hey, way to send the message that everything a woman does should be to appeal to men.)