alimarko

Friend Zone

feminiism:

It’s true, just because a woman is your friend, that does not mean she owes you sex. But if you want more than friendship and she’s not open to more than that, you have every right in the world to express sadness and disappointment all over the fucking internet if that’s what you choose to do. Your feelings are valid no matter how much feminists try to shame you for having them. It is also fine to choose not to be friends with a woman for not giving you sex if sex is more important to you than friendship.

Totally acceptable human behavior: I am kind and friendly to someone both because I have feelings for them and because I value them as a person. I was honest with my hope that we would enter into a romantic and/or sexual relationship. However, this person is satisfied with being my friend and does not want to enter a romantic and/or sexual relationship with me. I am expectedly disappointed and outwardly sad, but I also understand that this is that person’s choice and I will respect that choice. I will also either continue being friends with that person because I value that relationship, or I will explain to them why I find it too painful to be just friends. If I value sex more than the friendship, it is okay because I would have made that very clear from the very beginning of the relationship.

Unacceptable “friend zone” behavior: I am kind and friendly to someone because I want them to enter a sexual and/or romantic relationship with me. I failed to convey those hopes/intentions, and lead this person to believe that I am a friend. However, this person is satisfied with being my friend and does not want to enter a romantic and/or sexual relationship with me. I am disappointed and therefore I will call my love interest demeaning names on the internet or to my friends simply for exercising their right to say no. I will lament the fact that I was so nice to this person and they still didn’t want to have sex with me and also stop being nice to them because they deserve it. If I value sex more than the friendship, I will likely have made this person very hurt because they legitimately thought I wanted to be their friend.

See the difference?

Reblogged 1 year ago from 207 notes
  1. xpixelxdustx reblogged this from alimarko
  2. thatcaliber reblogged this from thepersonalispolitic
  3. thepersonalispolitic reblogged this from pallas-athena and added:
    accurate as fuck!!!
  4. cuddlesmcgee reblogged this from jraphics and added:
    “It is only natural for the male in the instance, in order retain some masculinity, to blame the woman than their own...
  5. muffinw reblogged this from yellow-dress
  6. yellow-dress reblogged this from alimarko
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  12. slutwalkdenver reblogged this from rapeculturerealities
  13. comebaaack reblogged this from darlingoftwitter
  14. lifegoesupwards reblogged this from ladydrace
  15. jraphics reblogged this from darlingoftwitter and added:
    not to speak on behalf of friendzoners or friendzonees, as I’ve never been either, but from an objective standpoint,...
  16. darlingoftwitter reblogged this from ladydrace and added:
    Fucking this, omg. THIS. THIS. THIS.
  17. ladydrace reblogged this from nonesane
  18. nonesane reblogged this from feedthewriter and added:
    Agreed. The problem isn’t that people are hurt by unanswered love; that’s completely understandable. It’s prefectly okay...
  19. weeaboosensei reblogged this from pops-ghostly
  20. nightbloomingflowers reblogged this from naathibutterfly
  21. thingsidoforfun reblogged this from naathibutterfly
  22. stopcallingmebitch reblogged this from rubato
  23. rubato reblogged this from thegeminisage
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  25. naathibutterfly reblogged this from feedthewriter
  26. feedthewriter reblogged this from rapeculturerealities
  27. lifeoftheurg reblogged this from eatcerealwithwater and added:
    Oh, so let me get this straight…There is a general belief amongst “feminists” that men concoct this “friendzone” to...
  28. blacknoonajade reblogged this from eatcerealwithwater and added:
    I’m not a feminist, but wow, I didn’t know sex was that important for it to end a friendship. I could see if it was the...
  29. eatcerealwithwater reblogged this from eyan-j